Call Me A Dreamer

I've recently come to realize, that I never, ever sit in silence. The reason I come to such a conclusion is because of how startlingly loud it can be when you are so busy, constantly with a buzz in your ear, be it music, people, talk shows, movies, etc. Why do we silence the silence. Why must we listen to music betwixt classes? Be on our phones? texting? Every waking second. Even when I drift off to sleep I still listen to music. Today I tried to not listen to music while in the car. It wasn't for a long time, but a brief 10-20 minutes while reading a book waiting outside of a friends house and listening to the sound of rain hitting my car. It was beautiful. I came up with this tiny couplet several years ago. "The sound of rain on a roof, is prettier than any violin or flute." And though instrumental music is by far my favorite, there is something mesmerizing in the sounds of nature, be it the pitter patter of rain, or the bubbling of a brook, the sounds that wate...

Yay! A much desired spring break has come (and almost gone). Sorry it's taken me forever to write anything. The desktop at home has awful internet connection, generally because my brother undoes the cables and plugs in his xbox and then doesn't change it. We don't have wireless so I have to use the slow running desktop, which has none of my things bookmarked and its just pretty annoying. Coming home was pretty nice. Now that I think of it, there hasn't really been any arguing in our family at all. I had a really good heart to heart with mom on my first or second night at home and same with my sister. Lauren and I share a room, and we stayed up til the wee hours of the morning talking about things and sharing and giggling like old times. I love having a sister. I also managed to plow through the first of the Hunger Games books within the first two days of having it. I went to church on Sunday at the church I grew up at and attended for 15 years. I ended up getting to h...

Being done with finals, is wonderful, though there is the ever-looming feeling of knowing that I just passed classes rather than succeeding thoroughly like usual. I am constantly being humbled when it comes to academics. I don't care if I'm in 'the hardest major', there are still people here who have significantly better GPAs than I do, and getting internships is ridiculously competitive. Sadly, I didn't get the internship for the Eco-Informatics Summer Institute where I would've gotten to go out into the field and do sampling and water testing, so this summer I will be working in Residential Conferences. That'll be nice to be able to know my schedule and also have some down time. My housing is paid for and I get my stipend, but no food, so this will encourage me to make my own food. (Time to break out that cook book I got for Christmas!) Well, in case you didn't notice, the rain went away, and then we became overtaken by snow, and loads of it. It snow...

You ever have those days, where every little things gets to you? The tiny moments that, in the grand scheme of things, should be nothing, you can brush it off sure, but eventually you can't take it. Finals have been my defeat today. That and the additional weight of everything else. I think I'm just going to have a bit of an emotional rant and wallow in my own self pity for a moment, so if you are looking for some encouragement, I encourage you to look elsewhere. Today was my two hardest finals. Back to back, engineering and physics. engineering is transient balances, the change in temperature with respects to time or mass over time, etc. The rest of engineering, I get, but this concept, killed me. That and a few other little things like the heat capacity of ice can be used at all temperatures through the process, only to be found that when my friend had clarified with a TA that you weren't supposed to make that assumption, even though it stated that in the problem. Let...

Pesto, smoked mozzarella, sausage, bacon, spinach, sweet peppers, onions, olives on wheat dough calzini. Just came back from studying for math, and I'm feeling like I can pass the exam. Walking around campus I'm just overcome by the fact that it is spring. Not only are the flowers and trees blooming and budding, but the birds are quite "twitter-pated". (I believe this phrase comes from Bambi, its basically their just all in that mating stage and fluttering about, doing that 'thing'.) It's truly beautiful. Today, before I went to go study, I woke up did some Bible and prayer time, then when it came to trying to do the practice final, I was struggling to even start it, so I cuddled back up into my blankets and slept for awhile. I was going to go to church, but I woke up at the time that service apparently started at. (I didn't know what time service was and was going to go to a different church than usual, only to awake to a missed call and four texts...

Well, I'm at my computer.. the desktop one at home which runs quite slowly, eating some Special K with Strawberries. After I finish this, I'm going to eat the rest of my mini mint oreo blizzard from last night. I took my brother out for ice cream last night after dinner. Brad and I got to hang out yesterday and he was over for dinner and so the three of us went for ice cream. I was so excited to leave all week. It was honestly a great motivation to get everything done, especially my CBEE homework and to learn transient balances. That is our energy balances, but with mass or energy balances with time. (aka differential equations) It's not as daunting now that I understand it. So as soon as I got out of class yesterday, I rushed back to Sackett to check out a resident who is moving out to her sorority, packed up my things and hopped in my car. I decided to follow my GPS to where it took me, which was interesting. Through Albany and out some back roads that took me right a...

I can't believe we're almost done with Winter Term. It seems to have flown by. At times it drug on, but to be honest, it's been quite the term. I'm so close to being done with Physics and Math... Granted I'll have to use it later in my major, I'm excited to finally be done with the classes portion of them and get more into the application of things. Today, I took another nap. I didn't have coffee like I did yesterday though. It's getting a lot more difficult to not drink coffee the closer I get to finals and the more I realize I need to study and also have other things I need to be doing. I took a decent hour and a half nap today after classes. I had lunch at Bing's and was supposed to have my Bible Study, but I didn't get ahold of anyone and no one responded to my phone call, so I went home and spent some time reading my Bible and in prayer. Then I took that hour and a half nap, which was lovely. Oh I also got an awesome care package from my m...

Well, I wish I had lots to talk about for what I did today, but the honest to goodness truth is, I think I've slept more than 12 hours today.. Last night was the Under the Sea dance, and my friends Ryan, Lacey and Brad came down for it. (Yes, I grabbed extra tickets for them, because.. well I can. And we had loads of extra ones anyways, so it's not THAT big of a deal...) We went there, and danced hard all night. It was super fun. Had our pictures taken, me with some residents and my 'adopted brother' Nick; I babysit his little sisters, and am their adopted big sister. They will also be my flower girls someday. I know that'll be awhile.. but they're still excited for it, as am I. They're so adorable.. Anyways, my friends were DJing the dance, so that was rad that I got to see them. Some of my residents have come up to me and told me that they were surprised and impressed with my dancing ability. Apparently, people don't imagine that I can dance. I mean,...

The past few days have been quite wonderful I must say. Today especially due to the beautiful sun and deciding to sleep through my 8am class. Granted, I did miss getting to see what my score was on my Organic Chem exam, I think I did alright, and appreciated the extra sleep more. I've finally registered for classes for next term, and I'm not taking any more math classes, no more physics. I'm super ecstatic about that. I only got a 59 on my PH exam, but that was better than what I was expecting, so I am happy. I got 25/25 on one of the work thru problems, so that was a surprise. Also, since I am officially registered, I submitted my class schedule to my tribe (I'm part Native American, a very small part, but I'm registered and have my tribal ID and such) so I can now receive my scholarship stipend thing and pay back my parents after borrowing $1000 so that way I could even register, as my fees were too outstanding and I couldn't register if I didn't pay. So...

Today has been really lovely and nice. This weekend has been fun and kept me busy, and I feel as though I haven't gotten much time to 'relax'. To just sit and enjoy being. Not to go all zen like on you, but its nice to just sit and be at peace and not think about the things to be done, or things that are due. Friday after the second to last physics lab, I got to drive into Salem to visit with Brad. I took him out to Red Robin for dinner. (I had a Christmas gift card for there, and I hadn't eaten there in a long time, so I figured, why not?) It was really fun, granted we had to wait outside for awhile, but I really enjoyed just getting to sit and talk/converse, because we don't get to have that time to just talk the two of us face to face all that often. I miss that. When we were first getting to know each other, we would talk for hours on end. 6 hours at a Shari's was the norm for us. Anyways, after that we went back to his house and watched a few episodes of ...