Call Me A Dreamer

My weekend has been quite spectacular and not productive in the slightest. Such is the price for having a celebratory weekend. Friday night was pretty rad. I had finished my Statics homework and got things ready for my Henna Party. Who knew that otter pops from childhood memories and the chance to draw temporary tattoos could draw so many people! It was pretty successful and I think everyone had a lot of fun. Here's a picture of the henna tattoo I had done. :) Phil. 4:6-7 is one of my favorite verses so I figured why not? After this I went to have dinner with some friends/residents and then I managed to convince them to go over to Cascadia with me to go buy chocolate for my sister's arrival. I also told my friend Sam, who works over in Peet's Coffee, that I would come say hi. Plus, Karl lives over there and I told him to come down and meet us. He then joined our group and we went off to play Apples to Apples. I always like to pretend that the cards you get are words t...

You know, I never did post that other one. I think it is okay. I think I was typing more for the sake of typing out feelings when others aren't there to talk to. Sure, you might have others say "you can talk to me if you need it" , but sometimes, you don't want anyone to say anything back. You just want to talk at a wall. You need to get the thoughts out, somewhere... Somewhere where they will be safe with the one you trust them with. Sadly, not all whom say "you can talk to me" are safe with your words. I suppose one would say, I desire to be safe with them, cautious as to whom I bestow them upon, or trust myself with. Words can be interpreted in many different fashions through various mediums. Like, right now, I'm not necessarily talking to you, the audience. I'm typing at my computer, looking at the screen, listening to some piano instrumental music, being very thoughtful with what I'm writing and seeming a bit.. philosophical and in a conte...

"Why was that old fellow such a marvelous propaganda technician? Because he had so many insane excruciating things to get excited about. You've got to be hurt and upset; otherwise you can't think of the really good penetrating, X-rayish phrases." -Helmholtz from Brave New World, speaking about Shakespeare. The funny thing is, how true this statement can be. I feel I am the most in touch or in tune with my feelings and able to articulate such when my emotions are high. Be it happy and high on a cloud, or sad and low in the dumps, it is these feelings that we can draw from and then choose to describe and relate to an audience. These feelings, this 'emotional contagion' , as described in my Communications class, is what makes us good at discovering the 'penetrating, X-rayish phrases.' Of course one can write of hurt, agony, pain, bliss, attraction, passion, sorrow, tension, any array of such. However, can you relate it in such a way that your audie...

You know, I thought yesterday was going to be pretty awful. It was 4/20, and I was on duty for the evening. This means rounds at 10pm, 12am, and 2am. I'm am ever grateful that my residents don't smoke here. I know that they do, but they don't do it here. I was a bit worried yesterday about that CBEE data lab which was so awful, but on Thursday evening, they told us it would be due on Monday. So I was ecstatic. Yesterday was my Communications Speech on 'The day I was born'. I used the space shuttle launch of Endeavor to talk about myself since it happened the day I was born. (see what I did there? haha) My friend Rachel convinced me to go first, so I did. It works so much better when I do that. I was still nervous, but it actually went okay. Such a relief. And then I had my one on one with another exec member from hall council, which was lovely. Then I was off to finish Statics homework before it was due at 4. After this I was free from homework until.. well toda...

I'm a little bit in a conflict here.. If you couldn't tell by the title. Today has been really nice. My Electrical Fundamentals class was canceled, and I only have 2 classes today, and a decent amount of time between the two. However, tomorrow, a ton of stuff is due. I have Statics, an Engineering Data lab (which we were poorly informed and the lab was poorly written, not really a great combo..), and lastly, this lovely thing called a speech, which makes me ever so nervous. When I was younger, I had to get up and give speeches. In 7th grade, I had to give a speech on Little House on the Prairie, but I wasn't ready for it.. I was so nervous.. I got up in front of the class.. and started crying. Needless to say, I didn't have to give the speech. I had to do it the next day, but still I was better then, but there is something about getting up in front of people, having their undivided attention, and delivering information that they are supposed to somehow benefit from, ...

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments, love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove O no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come, Love laters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it is out even to the edge of doom: If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. ~William Shakespeare This is what awaited me yesterday when I opened up that chocolate bar. A poem. Written by the Bard himself. The brand is called Chocolove, and within each bar of chocolate is a love poem, much like the one you see above, but probably not nearly as wonderful, as this was writ by Shakespeare; you cannot really get any better than a love poem written by him. ...

Well, this week has had quite a few ups and downs. I'm grateful for each and every one of them. Sunday night after I had done my last post, just a lot of stuff had happened as far as being on duty. I had more resident conflicts to try and manage and tried to facilitate a talk and I failed miserably. I had another thing happen which wasn't that bad, but just the stacking of things kind of put me on edge. And finally when trying to write an IR which took a long time, and the page timed out, and we lost all the information, I just lost it. I broke down crying. Last straw. And again, I know logically it would all be okay and it would get submitted, but I just felt like such an awful RA. I was too emotional to even write my own IR and Cassady had to sort out everything and organize it while I'd go in and fix it. It's at this point in time where the lies come in. I'm not sure if you ever get this, but I kind of have a bit of this problem with insecurities just in gene...

Well, today is Easter. Or the day that I celebrate that Christ rose from the grave, conquered death and sin, and thereby gives us hope. A hope that we might be seen as clean an righteous by the Father since His blood has paid the price for my sin, for which I am forever grateful. And since He gave his life for me, I now do my best to surrender mine unto Him and the work of His Kingdom. This weekend has been good and interesting. It's our first weekend being back here at school since spring break. I was on half staff, which means that I need to be in the building from 10pm til 8am Friday and Saturday evenings. Friday Night was Afterdark, which is a program that is put on at Dixon Recreation Center for residents where there are games, food, and activities to participate in. It was pretty fun, but I got roped into working so I had to have people sign waivers and didn't actually get to play cosmic mini golf like I had hoped. After this I was supposed to head back to Sackett, but ...

Okay, so I was walking home tonight and the way the light from the lamposts fell and cast my shadow out beneath me, it reminded me back to my poetry class I took last year during winter term. There is this poem I wrote about an incident long ago in life. How, no matter where we go, it still happened, it still shapes us into who we are. We may have good memories about it, and then realize it has turned into something sour, but now it's just a matter of if you can conquer it, and not let it or the memory of such, conquer you. It's one of my favorites that I've written.. and I never submitted it in the class. It was one of those free write exercises, that never really becomes anything, but I went back and re-worked it a few times. It's not necessarily a pleasant or happy read. I think the message is what matters though. It's kinda personal, so don't judge too harshly. Thanks. My Shadow, You follow me everywhere. We talk every once in a great while, but because...

Today is pretty rad. In fact, this whole first week has been really good! Minus dozing off during the Electrical Fundamentals class.. I'm again at the front desk hanging out with Jenny, sitting here and drinking water and eating dark chocolate. (It's apparently filled with antioxidants, and it actually isn't as bad as I remember it tasting in comparison to milk or white chocolate.. Since when do I like dark chocolate? this is new for me.) The past few days have been pretty good. Yesterday I had a ton of free time. To be honest, I don't really remember what I did at all. I know it was relaxing though, I think I ended up filling out my 'Term at a Glance' paper where I put in when I have all of my midterms and finals and what weekends I have plans and which ones I should be on duty, etc. I had a few classes and a lab in the evening which conflicts with going to small group, but since I'm pretty solid when it comes to using excel (as I used it all summer with ...

Yesterday was the first day of spring term classes. I had one class and the day outside was absolutely gorgeous. Talk about lucky right? One of my labs was 'canceled' aka, we don't have labs the first week, which was nice. So instead I decided to try and make the most of my time, so I completely filled out the MECOP application. This is for an internship my junior and senior years where I have 6 months working, 6 months in school and same for my senior year. It means I'd be here an additional year, but I find that having that job experience, getting paid money for the experience and also having a potential job when I leave college is well worth being in school an additional year. So I filled it out, today I printed everything and I have it in a lovely envelope ready to be sent to the College of Engineering office. Not only was I productive yesterday, but I got to have lunch with my dear friend Briana from my small group. I took her out for lunch (as much as an RA can,...

Well, I'm currently drinking some tea, sitting at the front desk with my dear friend and partner in crime.. I mean, duty partner, Cassady. :) We've been singing Disney Duets and probably scaring residents as they walk by, but I think we sound alright. So far while sitting at the desk, I've been able to accomplish a decent amount of things. I colored the front and back of the dinosaur Door Dec (short for Door Decoration, which is what us Resident Assistants put on the doors of residents with their name on it etc.) that Austin put on my door. I got a T-rex, which, in all honesty, isn't very fitting for me. It's okay. I just like coloring. Cassady laughed at me for coloring like a little kid. I've been a bit of a little kid the past few days around him. He took me out to breakfast yesterday and we went to Sunnyside Up and I really wanted some Grilled Cheese and Soup, because it was just one of those days, but Grilled Cheese is only on the children's menu, but I...