Maybe It's Good to Be Alone
Hey there,
I'm a little excited, two blogs in one week!
All too often, I find that I'm parceling out every single hour of my day to this task, or this meeting, or just plain vegging out on the computer and getting my daily dose of social media and "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" over pinterest and cute animal videos. I am constantly engaged in everything: School, RA work, wedding tasks, job applications, social media, friends, etc.
With all of this, I really don't get to take the time to think things through. I just am constantly on auto-pilot going through the motions necessary to keep me on top of all of the things to do so I don't fall behind. I don't really get to process things unless I'm talking with Karl about everything or how my day was. I've lost that critical thinker inside of me. I used to weigh the pros and cons, lay my decisions before the Lord, heavy with prayer and contemplation. I used to find such deep meaning and justification for life in the everyday things, but now I am so caught up in everything that I am finding I need to re-learn these old habits.
I know I am a very social creature, and I am energized by being social with others. I also need my own down time. I need my spiritual time, and sadly this is one thing that I have lost over the last few years being at school and setting my own routine. My first year I was very involved, and then staff meetings happened to be on the same nights as Real Life and I didn't connect as much with my small group, then members of my small group graduated and went elsewhere, and my accountability to attend church and be in the Word left. I have come to learn that I really need accountability. But not having accountability from others shouldn't be an excuse, as I lacked self accountability as well.
Though I am leaving OSU shortly, I want to develop and grow into the woman I am going to be outside of college. I want to be able to move into a new church and be self-motivated. I want to have a nurtured relationship with the Lord and to make sure that it is something I give time to. But in order to have this, I need to have some time alone.
I also think that my alone time, constitutes as these blogs. Thinking about where I'm going, what my goals are, and how I'm getting there and keeping myself motivated. I think it is really hard to lose sight of what you started towards when everything around you becomes a cloud of distraction and your end goal just a blur in the distance. Remembering your passion, what you're excited to do for yourself and others, and how you want to be a part of something bigger and contribute. I think we all have a yearning along these lines somewhere, it's just a matter of finding that thing that ignites it, and once it is ignited, you have to keep fueling the fire. If you feed it, it will grow. If you starve it, it will perish.
Just some things I am thinking about that I have 'starved' are my athleticism, but I'm playing soccer this term so that is great, my spiritual life and just lacking that time of being alone to make it happen, creativity with words (poetry and blogging are my main outlets here) and crafting (crocheting has been put on hold til I have time with no work... ha).
Anyways, I just wanted to share these thoughts while I had them.
Thanks for reading,
-M.E.
I'm a little excited, two blogs in one week!
All too often, I find that I'm parceling out every single hour of my day to this task, or this meeting, or just plain vegging out on the computer and getting my daily dose of social media and "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" over pinterest and cute animal videos. I am constantly engaged in everything: School, RA work, wedding tasks, job applications, social media, friends, etc.
With all of this, I really don't get to take the time to think things through. I just am constantly on auto-pilot going through the motions necessary to keep me on top of all of the things to do so I don't fall behind. I don't really get to process things unless I'm talking with Karl about everything or how my day was. I've lost that critical thinker inside of me. I used to weigh the pros and cons, lay my decisions before the Lord, heavy with prayer and contemplation. I used to find such deep meaning and justification for life in the everyday things, but now I am so caught up in everything that I am finding I need to re-learn these old habits.
I know I am a very social creature, and I am energized by being social with others. I also need my own down time. I need my spiritual time, and sadly this is one thing that I have lost over the last few years being at school and setting my own routine. My first year I was very involved, and then staff meetings happened to be on the same nights as Real Life and I didn't connect as much with my small group, then members of my small group graduated and went elsewhere, and my accountability to attend church and be in the Word left. I have come to learn that I really need accountability. But not having accountability from others shouldn't be an excuse, as I lacked self accountability as well.
Though I am leaving OSU shortly, I want to develop and grow into the woman I am going to be outside of college. I want to be able to move into a new church and be self-motivated. I want to have a nurtured relationship with the Lord and to make sure that it is something I give time to. But in order to have this, I need to have some time alone.
I also think that my alone time, constitutes as these blogs. Thinking about where I'm going, what my goals are, and how I'm getting there and keeping myself motivated. I think it is really hard to lose sight of what you started towards when everything around you becomes a cloud of distraction and your end goal just a blur in the distance. Remembering your passion, what you're excited to do for yourself and others, and how you want to be a part of something bigger and contribute. I think we all have a yearning along these lines somewhere, it's just a matter of finding that thing that ignites it, and once it is ignited, you have to keep fueling the fire. If you feed it, it will grow. If you starve it, it will perish.
Just some things I am thinking about that I have 'starved' are my athleticism, but I'm playing soccer this term so that is great, my spiritual life and just lacking that time of being alone to make it happen, creativity with words (poetry and blogging are my main outlets here) and crafting (crocheting has been put on hold til I have time with no work... ha).
Anyways, I just wanted to share these thoughts while I had them.
Thanks for reading,
-M.E.
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