A look outside the window
Well, I should probably be going to bed right now, but I think there is too much floating around in my head right now in order to do so. I just finished up with midnight rounds. Some people have moved back in early. I got to talk with people on 10 o'clock rounds which were nice. Sadly I had to make a call to DPS tonight too, which put me in a bit of a sour mood. I think this quarter is going to be different. I love my residents, I just don't think the leniency will be there this quarter. I've established that I'm reasonable and the voice of warning, but when it comes down to it, I'm not putting up with anyone's crap. I will not be walked over. Simple as that. Not saying that I was before, but I think I tended to be a bit more forgiving and ever-so-slightly a bit of a pushover and gave people the benefit of the doubt that they have the best intentions. Now, I know who does what, and there are some things that after multiple warnings and you still don't listen to me, I think you lose the right to my overly-compassionate normal self, and then have to deal with me sticking to the facts and getting down to business. [I'm a little bit ... unhappy at the moment if you couldn't tell]
Today was a trying of my patience. My human nature, of just getting frustrated at every situation I got put in, was definitely tearing at me. First it was walking all the way to Southside to get lunch, and then getting a call for a lock out and walking all the way back to help. I then realized I could just tell them to go to the Service Center, but that thought didn't cross my mind til I was already back at the building. [Brilliant, right?!] I then decided, oh I'll just get food at Bing's since it's closer. Not only is it closer, but it was also closed. My stomach was grumbling since I hadn't really had anything to eat since the previous day at about 2:30pm. [I don't eat many meals since I haven't been doing anything except rounds and such. Plus, I get really impatient and grumpy when I'm hungry.] So I trek back over to Southside. I run into some of my friends whom are international students in other buildings and have lunch with them. They told me they were going to head off to go shopping and I said that I could take them since they weren't my residents, so I drove them to Fred Meyers. This, was the longest shopping trip I have ever done, and not in a good way sadly. I had fun at first; getting to help figure out what they needed in English. [They speak Portuguese and are from Brazil] However, I think that shopping etiquette is different in our culture. They would stop in the middle of an aisle rather than pull the cart off to the side and I was constantly apologizing to passersby for them. They would also just leave the cart in places and then come back. Did I mention it was horribly crowded there since it is the weekend before classes start back up again? Yeah.. It was kind of crazy and I had to go up to the Starbucks and get a coffee to help keep me going. We were there for about 2 hours. I only needed 3 things. Lesson learned: Never take international students shopping for the first time when they get to the states.
Then there was the stuff while I was on duty, but other than that my day was okay. I liked getting to converse with people who arrived early. I got to tell 'The Story' (as I like to call it) to a few people about how Brad and I met/started dating again. I always get so giddy and I think it takes between 5-10 minutes for me to tell it. Granted, I'm a female and I think we tend to gush over things like that just a little bit more than most people. Anyways, it was just nice to have people in the building rather than being eerily creepy like usual.
Spent some time looking at internships for the summer and I think I found one I like and would love to do and actually it would go along with the water quality/water treatment I want to work on after I graduate. I had to send an e-mail to the gentleman in charge though because my 'discipline' of Chemical Engineering wasn't listed, yet they had bioengineering, ecosystem sciences, earth science, mathematics, and something else, so I asked if I could do it because I want to have an Environmental processes option when I graduate. I hope they say yes. :] I would be so overjoyed if I can apply and get it. I just want to have my internship still be here in Oregon. I mean, it'd be cool to travel, but I just don't think I'm quite ready for that.
I also have been thinking about being an RA again next year. I think if I just get my priorities straight and still am seeking to see friends outside of ResLife, I'll be able to do better. I just got a bit bogged down last quarter not going to church and trying to do everything on my own apart from fellowship. I got served a big 'ol piece of humble pie and was so kindly reminded that God is in control of my life, regardless of what I do or think I can do apart from Him. I think as long as I put him first, everything else will fall into place. Last quarter, I was doing what I wanted and leaning on myself and my own abilities. And it all kinda went in the toilet. I mean, it wasn't a total crapshoot, but in comparison to the rest of my academic life and spiritual walk, it was pretty awful. Winter break has been a lovely break and quite refreshing and giving me hopes for this next quarter.
On another note, I found out that one of my good friends is pregnant. I am excited for her, yet she is not married, but they are to be wed, which is good. I told her I'd crochet her a baby blanket for the baby when it gets here. I haven't chatted with her in ages and it was a bit of a surprise for me. I didn't see her at all over the winter break, and now I feel bad for not having been in contact with her. It is exciting, but at the same time, the thought scares me to death. Not for her and having a baby, but I tend to compare myself to where others are at in life who are the same age as me. I have friends who are already married. Ones who've had a baby and are married, not married but have a baby, or had a baby and are to be wed. I just can't imagine myself there. I can't imagine being ready in the least bit. Heck, I don't even pay for my own cell phone bill, gas, or car insurance. How could I afford a child? How could I share the debts of another person in a marriage? I just have a lot of growing up to do. I admire anyone who is my age and deals with all of this and gets by. My kudos go out to you and I respect you very much. I mean, I may be able to do it if it came to the whole 'fight or flight' situation. I would have to learn fast, and it would be a rough thing to go through, but do-able. I just don't know how to support or encourage someone going though something like this. I speak words of affirmation and comfort and offer to help in any way I can. I feel that is all I can do. It was just a bit of a shock.
And a 'Mary, you're getting old now. In 4 months, you'll be two decades old'. What the heck? I'm going to be twenty. No way. I'm still so immature and fun loving. People think I'm smart but I honestly feel I have so much left to learn before I can graduate from here. I think I'm growing even now. There is so much about me that is going to change and has been changing, even over the past year. It's crazy to think about. I always love the line in the song Uncharted by Sara Barielles that is "Compare where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get, no where." Though I know I have goals for myself, I tend to just keep walking through whatever door is open, and going with it. And with each new opportunity are more chances to grow.
I just feel like now is a time of high emotions, stress, uncomfortable situations, and a lot of learning and growing to do. I'm excited and curious to see how it goes, but I'm ready to hit the ground running. I want to conquer this winter term. :) I hope I can navigate these waters well and not sink. Life just seemed to get a little hectic when I looked outside my window at where everyone else is at in life.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate that you can make it through all of that stuff.
-M.E.
Today was a trying of my patience. My human nature, of just getting frustrated at every situation I got put in, was definitely tearing at me. First it was walking all the way to Southside to get lunch, and then getting a call for a lock out and walking all the way back to help. I then realized I could just tell them to go to the Service Center, but that thought didn't cross my mind til I was already back at the building. [Brilliant, right?!] I then decided, oh I'll just get food at Bing's since it's closer. Not only is it closer, but it was also closed. My stomach was grumbling since I hadn't really had anything to eat since the previous day at about 2:30pm. [I don't eat many meals since I haven't been doing anything except rounds and such. Plus, I get really impatient and grumpy when I'm hungry.] So I trek back over to Southside. I run into some of my friends whom are international students in other buildings and have lunch with them. They told me they were going to head off to go shopping and I said that I could take them since they weren't my residents, so I drove them to Fred Meyers. This, was the longest shopping trip I have ever done, and not in a good way sadly. I had fun at first; getting to help figure out what they needed in English. [They speak Portuguese and are from Brazil] However, I think that shopping etiquette is different in our culture. They would stop in the middle of an aisle rather than pull the cart off to the side and I was constantly apologizing to passersby for them. They would also just leave the cart in places and then come back. Did I mention it was horribly crowded there since it is the weekend before classes start back up again? Yeah.. It was kind of crazy and I had to go up to the Starbucks and get a coffee to help keep me going. We were there for about 2 hours. I only needed 3 things. Lesson learned: Never take international students shopping for the first time when they get to the states.
Then there was the stuff while I was on duty, but other than that my day was okay. I liked getting to converse with people who arrived early. I got to tell 'The Story' (as I like to call it) to a few people about how Brad and I met/started dating again. I always get so giddy and I think it takes between 5-10 minutes for me to tell it. Granted, I'm a female and I think we tend to gush over things like that just a little bit more than most people. Anyways, it was just nice to have people in the building rather than being eerily creepy like usual.
Spent some time looking at internships for the summer and I think I found one I like and would love to do and actually it would go along with the water quality/water treatment I want to work on after I graduate. I had to send an e-mail to the gentleman in charge though because my 'discipline' of Chemical Engineering wasn't listed, yet they had bioengineering, ecosystem sciences, earth science, mathematics, and something else, so I asked if I could do it because I want to have an Environmental processes option when I graduate. I hope they say yes. :] I would be so overjoyed if I can apply and get it. I just want to have my internship still be here in Oregon. I mean, it'd be cool to travel, but I just don't think I'm quite ready for that.
I also have been thinking about being an RA again next year. I think if I just get my priorities straight and still am seeking to see friends outside of ResLife, I'll be able to do better. I just got a bit bogged down last quarter not going to church and trying to do everything on my own apart from fellowship. I got served a big 'ol piece of humble pie and was so kindly reminded that God is in control of my life, regardless of what I do or think I can do apart from Him. I think as long as I put him first, everything else will fall into place. Last quarter, I was doing what I wanted and leaning on myself and my own abilities. And it all kinda went in the toilet. I mean, it wasn't a total crapshoot, but in comparison to the rest of my academic life and spiritual walk, it was pretty awful. Winter break has been a lovely break and quite refreshing and giving me hopes for this next quarter.
On another note, I found out that one of my good friends is pregnant. I am excited for her, yet she is not married, but they are to be wed, which is good. I told her I'd crochet her a baby blanket for the baby when it gets here. I haven't chatted with her in ages and it was a bit of a surprise for me. I didn't see her at all over the winter break, and now I feel bad for not having been in contact with her. It is exciting, but at the same time, the thought scares me to death. Not for her and having a baby, but I tend to compare myself to where others are at in life who are the same age as me. I have friends who are already married. Ones who've had a baby and are married, not married but have a baby, or had a baby and are to be wed. I just can't imagine myself there. I can't imagine being ready in the least bit. Heck, I don't even pay for my own cell phone bill, gas, or car insurance. How could I afford a child? How could I share the debts of another person in a marriage? I just have a lot of growing up to do. I admire anyone who is my age and deals with all of this and gets by. My kudos go out to you and I respect you very much. I mean, I may be able to do it if it came to the whole 'fight or flight' situation. I would have to learn fast, and it would be a rough thing to go through, but do-able. I just don't know how to support or encourage someone going though something like this. I speak words of affirmation and comfort and offer to help in any way I can. I feel that is all I can do. It was just a bit of a shock.
And a 'Mary, you're getting old now. In 4 months, you'll be two decades old'. What the heck? I'm going to be twenty. No way. I'm still so immature and fun loving. People think I'm smart but I honestly feel I have so much left to learn before I can graduate from here. I think I'm growing even now. There is so much about me that is going to change and has been changing, even over the past year. It's crazy to think about. I always love the line in the song Uncharted by Sara Barielles that is "Compare where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get, no where." Though I know I have goals for myself, I tend to just keep walking through whatever door is open, and going with it. And with each new opportunity are more chances to grow.
I just feel like now is a time of high emotions, stress, uncomfortable situations, and a lot of learning and growing to do. I'm excited and curious to see how it goes, but I'm ready to hit the ground running. I want to conquer this winter term. :) I hope I can navigate these waters well and not sink. Life just seemed to get a little hectic when I looked outside my window at where everyone else is at in life.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate that you can make it through all of that stuff.
-M.E.
Comments
Post a Comment
Leave me your thoughts or comments. :)