Call Me A Dreamer

Today has been pretty.. well okay, but I'm just letting a bad grade defeat me. I really know better than to let a grade define me and my day, but I can't help but throw myself a pity party. I also think being emotional doesn't help either.. I know my grades will be okay, yet for some reason, I still wept over it. I have two midterms this week. Physics on Wednesday and Organic Chem Thursday. So, basically I have been at the library the majority of the day when I haven't been in classes. In Physics were learning about circuits and resistance and stuff. Most of which doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I understand a few conceptual things, but I feel like I'm missing the big picture stuff. I'm feeling alright about O-Chem. I'm generally good at cramming for that right before hand and doing alright. The class I'm sad about is Engineering. I straight up failed the 2nd quiz. I felt pretty empty when I got that test back. I only got 8 out of the 41 p...

Oh how wonderful the past few days have been. Even though I have been feeling like I am merely average in classes, I'm finding that I am not defined by how I do on tests or what my GPA is. I know it is important and I should still work on it, but I should not let how I am doing in academics be my only purpose. For I have had some great social interaction these past few days and fellowship with other believers that just speaks joy into my life and gives me a reason to live. It's been pretty awesome. Monday I got a lot of work done, or all that was due up until today. I have some stuff that isn't 'due', but I need to do the homework in math in order to do well on the quiz tomorrow. On Tuesday, our staff meeting was canceled, which don't get me wrong, I love my staff, but meetings that drag on at times, and take away from going to Real Life (College Campus Ministry put on by Cavalry Chapel on Tuesdays at 7pm in Club Escape/MU East) are always nice to have cancele...

Today was/is good. I got a lot of stuff done. Yet despite the amount that I seem to accomplish, I still get so-so grades. I mean, I'm above C's, but I'm not a 4.0 student anymore. I'm getting solid B's across the board. I'm looking back at my first set of midterm grades; I seriously got the same grade in almost every class. CBEE212-79, PH213-80, CH332-80, MTH256-71 (curved so it was actually a C+).. Do you all see what I see? I mean, at least this means I'm spending equal amount of time on everything and learning in each area about the same. I just no longer feel that pull of being an exceptional student. I kinda lost it once I started working at the same time, but considering work and such, I feel this is pretty good, but still not giving me the grades I'd like.. and today we had our CBEE quiz #2, and I don't think I did very well. It kind of kicked my butt. I just hope that the problems I did answer with a full answer I get full credit on. Because...

This past week was rather nice. I mean, I was busy with homework and such, but it was quite mild in comparison to last week where I had two midterms and loads of homework due and such. I had an interview for a conferences position on Monday (I think I talked about that already though), and I nailed it. I got my confirmation for final applicant pool on Thursday which was nice. I have a midterm coming up tomorrow, and have been studying for it this afternoon and I'm feeling alright about it. I got a 79 last time, and am planning on doing better. It's for my Energy Balances class in Engineering. I'm on duty tonight and so that should be fun. I was able to go to Real Life on Tuesday night as well as small group on Wednesday and then College group in Salem on Thursday. Lots of time at church this past week was really wonderful and refreshing to spend time in fellowship. I miss getting to see them on a regular basis. This weekend was fun. Friday night after my Physics Lab go...

Today is Valentine's Day. The weather has been the most bi-polar I have seen it in awhile. It would pour down rain for a few moments, and then it would be super bright and sunny, then pour again, and now it is only overcast. Still, it is Valentine's day, and though Brad doesn't live here, I think today is really great. Hall Council went around delivering Val-o-grams just a little bit ago and I got 5 carnations, 4 pink, 1 red and a bag of candy and a lovely heart-felt card from one of my residents, but someone whom I consider a good friend. Last week was quite crazy with midterms and homework being due. I honestly spent more time in the library than I did sleeping at home in my bed. Yesterday I was still exhausted from having so little sleep I was able to sleep in the MU. I just took off my jacket, used it as a blanket, tilted my hat down and looked like a pile of stuff. (According to my friend Blake). I took a nap today as well since I was still tired.. the 6-7 hrs of sl...

Hey there. It's definitely been awhile, and I've been bad about writing as often as I used to. Life has been pretty busy as of late. I was on duty this weekend. (note: this was my last weekend duty for this term and it's the beginning of week 5 and I only have one more Thursday of duty. I'm so stoked and excited!) Today was/is our Superbowl party. I did a vast majority of the driving to and from places for all of us RAs. Mainly because I love my car and like driving. I accidentally ran a red light today and I felt pretty bad about it. Don't tell any cops though. Please? I have some stupid moments occasionally and was more embarrassed and scared for the safety of my passenger and myself. We made it and the party has been quite a hit. Jenny and I were in charge of drinks, and I've learned that.. Well I must've been a bartender in another life because I make some pretty dang good drinks. Austin asked me to make him something.. I asked what he wanted. He told ...

Sometimes life just gets the best of me, and leaves me with my worst attributes. I pour out all of my best, and no one says thank you or, good job. Maybe a small handful do, but those are ones you expect it from. But for the vast majority of people, you feel under-appreciated, uncared for, and basically unloved. Human nature has the desire to be appreciated, loved, and to have value. When I feel unvalued, or that what I do has no impact on others lives, well, I begin to feel the complete opposite of that which my human nature desires. I know this is my job. To care for others, reach out and help, provide opportunities, and converse with residents. There are times when you can see the fruit produced from those interactions, and then there are other times where though you keep trying, you see no progress. It's like you're trying to fill a bottomless pit with little buckets of water. It is impossible. And then, people come and have additional expectations to just add onto your alr...